I am probably the most optimistic person you will ever meet. Ask Aaron, my mom, Teresa, or anyone who knows me well. It is hard to bring me down. I think that a positive attitude gets you through more tough spots than being a so called "realist", which Aaron thinks he is, or God forbid, a pessimist.
Most of the time my optimism brings about good things. Good change. Happy days.
But sometimes optimism leads me to disappointment.
Today I broke down and cried, really cried, for the first time since the night of Dad's accident (that night was a long night). He didn't pass the breathing test that I was SURE he was going to pass today. I was certain he would pass it yesterday. They didn't test him. So today he could only be better, right? He wasn't able to keep his O2 sats up, breathing on his own today. I am so disappointed that he didn't pass and he will be on the ventilator for longer. I am disappointed, because I know that Dad is disappointed and frustrated. I KNOW that as soon as the breathing tube is out and he can talk to us again and have drinks of water his healing will progress more easily. Twelve days is a long time to be unable to talk, especially for dad.
So being an optimist lead me to disappointment today. I probably needed a really good cry though and now I should start feeling better so that I can help Dad be positive too. So I am still optimistic, I just hate the crash it brings me sometimes.
In the meantime....
My Australian host parents are here for a visit. The timing is bad, with Dad in ICU, but we are making the best of our time together. It has been 19 years since I last saw them and they haven't changed a bit! They have been here, since May 31. Tomorrow we are going to be driving over to Seattle and the next day up to Vancouver BC. We will leave them there, and they will catch a train back to LA, stopping along the way to see some of America (to bad so much of it will be California). I feel very fortunate to have been able to spend the last 2 weeks with Wally and Lorna. I have wonderful memories from my time with them in Australia and I am so glad we are back in touch. It has been a fun week. Amazing the differences between the US and Australia. Things we take for granted. One of the highlights of their trip was seeing squirrels! Not something I would have imagined as a highlight. And we have a recipe that they are going to show off in Australia. Beer Can Chicken!! LOL!
I am going to see dad this afternoon. I know that he will be glad to see me. I know that he will have the vent out soon and can concentrate of getting the rest of him well. I am optimistic that the rest of his stay in the hospital will get easier by the day!!
