Teeter Totters

The Weight Watchers Leader started this weeks meeting talking about teeter totters. She asked if anyone remembered them and whether anyone enjoyed them. Everyone had reasons they didn't like them. The only reason I could come up with was that no one would do it with me. My sister was too little, so I did all the work, my parents were to big, so I didn't get to do anything. None of that fit in with my feelings on weight loss and so I have decided that it was a dumb way to start the meeting. And I really DID like the teeter-totter.

Although, some would consider my progress this summer as teeter-tottering. I had several weeks of reversing trend.... That means I *gained* rather than *lost* weight. One week of that is understandable (and happens to me once a month). More than one week of that is disheartening. I didn't count how many weeks I went up. It was more than a few. And even if it was less than a pound each week, it adds up. (I wasn't even teetering). This week I recorded a loss. An amount significant enough to cancel out several of my up weeks, and to remotivate me.

So my weight loss is less like a teeter-totter and more like a hot metal slide (one piece of playground equipment that I don't ever remember liking). The first weeks of summer was me climbing up the slide from the slippery, hot, metal side (not the ladder). Now, maybe I'm at the top and can start working on coming back down.


I want to be able to run again. I wasn't ever a fast runner. And I don't remember craving it. But I did enjoy running when I was doing it. And when I was doing it I was the thinnest I've ever been. I'm not aiming for that (but it would be nice). I just want to be able to run without getting out of breath, keep up the the kids, and maybe get some time alone while I'm doing it.

Nana Niggemyer

I didn't know my Grandma N. well. She lived in Michigan and I lived out west all my life. I can count on my fingers how many times I had seen her before she moved to Idaho. I might be mistaken about the number of times, and my mom might know better, but my memory is of only a few specific visits. Grandma had alsheimers and wasn't the same person when I knew her here in Idaho. And she only knew who I was one time in all the visits we had here. It was a special visit that she remembered me though. She complimented me on my wonderful children and called me by name, on Mother's day. Grandma was in her 90's when she passed away a few years ago and I was sad, but mostly I was relieved. She wasn't herself, she knew it, and she was suffering from that. I was glad for her when the time came.

Anna Niggemyer passed away this morning. I am devastated. Anna, Nana as us "kids" call her, was as much my grandmother as my own blood grandmothers are. Her family is an extension of my family and I spent many holidays, special occasions, and just wonderful times with her. She moved to Ohio a few years ago, when it became clear that dementia was working it's way into her mind, just as it had my Grandma N. I haven't seen her in several years and I simply can't imagine (nor do I want to) her not being her wonderful, noisy, happy self. I wish that I felt relieved that she is no longer suffering madness and pain, but I'm not. I'm simply sad that the world no longer has her in it. I know that I'm being selfish when I see all the other grandchildren posting their plans to "celebrate Nana's life" by making her famous recipes for dinner tonight, or baking her Christmas cookies for dessert, or wearing the hat that she taught the wearer to knit 20 years ago, and telling wonderful stories of her. I hope they all feel the same relief that I felt when my grandma passed away. I feel honored to have known her and to be a part of the wonderful family she has. I do plan on making her linguine and her leipkuchen this weekend, but I can't call it a celebration, yet.

I'm just going to be sad for awhile, maybe relief will come later.